Sunday, 30 December 2012

readers moments

 Jesus had once said  "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."  it's like that with watching tv and following a fandom, and reading and becoming a part of the fandom.
This article is so beautifully written than i am currently in awe of her words. and i believe with all my heart everything she has said so here's my reading moments , be sure to let me know yours.

reading by a window

reading in bed

reading on the couch

reading in a bubble bath

reading before going to bed

reading first thing in the morning with a cup of tea

reading by candle-light

reading in the garden

having a special reading place

Tuesday, 9 October 2012

the reason

There is a reason why most women, esp. most Indian women feel more raped than loved in their marriages. & that reason is Indian television – which shows   glorifies most good men taking time with their relationships, making their women fall for them, as they slowly reach physical comfort levels. Women naturally fantasize!!!
So all you men out there in conservative arranged marriage couples – read with all your attention.
Firstly women are not as needy as men are. And secondly women are rarely as bold as men are. Women are shy and need to be aroused, not aroused outright but gently and subtly. It takes time. Women are not in already in love with you (considering arrange marriages. Or partly love marriages. ) they need to be wooed. They need to be comfortable with your physical presence. They need to feel like you are worth them. So don’t expect them to be hurricanes in bed, least of all on your first night.
Plus they are emotionally distraught at having just left the people, the home they have lived all their lives with. They would not be in mood to make love – not for at least a week until they get slightly (mind it just slightly) used to the absence of their usual surroundings. 
First step is finding out what shows the girl likes on TV. If she is TV person (and most girls are) or what books she likes. Observe the guys in those areas and see the things they do that make all the girls so gaga over them. You could YouTube the TV-boys or Google the book-boys.
Here’s a list of very common things you can do to make them fall head over heels in love with you, before you approach them for carnal satisfaction.
·         Compliment her whenever, possible. Nothing pleases a girl more than her husband telling her she looks gorgeous. Praise her – make her blush, not only does it build her confidence around you, but it also makes her trust you.
·         Trust – that’s important in any relationship.  Work on building it.
·         Hold her hand, privately in public- didn’t get it?? Under the table, or casually in a shop, on the road, in a bus/auto.  Link arms with her. It symbolizes protection, comfort, and possessiveness.
·         Be a gentleman, hold chairs, open doors, if she puts up a feminist fight – tell her its chivalry. There’s something exciting about a respectful chivalrous man that most women can’t resist.  Or forget.
·         Do things that will make her heart race, arouse her but leave her wanting more. (Hint - watch Indian TV for help).  Ex: go near and tie her dori, help her by removing her jewelry, put on/ take off her shoes, hold her when she trips, brush your skin against her, hold her hand when she hands you something.  Let her wonder if it was a dream.
·          Wink at her in a gathering when no one’s looking. Make sure no one was looking or else you might never hear the end of it.
·         Take her to visit her parent’s home.  As a surprise.
·         Respect her parents like you expect her to respect yours. Meaningfully.
·         Take her out for dinner to her fav place. Call it a date.
·         Dance with her. Dance is one of the most intimate possible actions you can do without receiving any kind of refusals.
·         Leave her notes – hand written notes– under the pillow, in her purse, in the cupboard. Personalize it – use your imagination.
·         Call her from work – tell her you miss her. Or text her.
·         Bring her flowers. Before that find out what flowers she likes.
·         Take her to a religious place. Tell her you want to thank god for sending her to you.
·         Ask for her opinion. Make her feel valued. Not just used.
·         Defend her – decide how to do it.
·         Play something – chess, cards, ludo, snakes and ladders, scrabble, anything. Make bets for favours. Winners askers – losers fulfillers.
·         Always give her choices.  Don’t force her. Ever.
·         Buy her something you want to see her in. start with something decent and then go on to whatever you like.
·         Take her shopping. Chics love to shop.  
·         Remind her you love her – everyday. More than twice a day preferably.
Ask her if she’s comfortable with you. Take it slow. Most women can be very giving in bed when you don’t rush the love. Touch, feel, explore, do more than just the deed. If the love is rushed women don’t feel the emotional connection that love should bring about – they just feel carnal. When given the time to see you without thinking of sex, women will want to give themselves to you, more often and more imaginatively. 
When you have won over her heart – you will be surprised at the girl in your bedroom.

Monday, 1 October 2012

a wild romance

We went for a trip in the jungle. Quite literally. A safari trip was planned well in advance. An extended family consisting of uncles and aunts and grandma and grandpa & his siblings & their kids plus dozens of kids who called each other cousins, first cousins, second cousins even third cousins who hadn't seen each other in decades gathered at the decided spot from where we would leave together. People who had fought over petty things, played along the law of the jungle using might & money to overpower each other, people who flaunted their possessions including better halves and children to show off in front of others, sibling rivals all gathered to enjoy each other’s annoyance in the jungle. Poetic justice at its human best.
And among all the girl kids I happen to be the eldest child of the tribe. So naturally I was appointed, forcefully appointed, baby sitter of the occasion for all the kids except the boys elder to me.
We reached the national park well in our own sweet time, by almost late afternoon. We were put into four buses. I obviously got stuck in the bus with the kids so that I could watch over them. And the buses rolled. Finally. I managed to pair up every one in my bus into non - combustible groups arranged in ascending order of height from the window so that no body could complain about the partner or the view. I finally settled down into my seat all alone, to enjoy watching the animals I guess. Keeping my ears open to the inside of the bus I let my eyes take in the beautiful exteriors. I had never imagined the national park to be so well kept , fine so the image in my head was a huge contrast to the one I was seeing right now - consisting of animal poop everywhere, smelling like a slum, with some few animals roaming about and another few animals guarding them with taser guns or something. But this was really a good thing considering our government spends so much money in the whole welfare & protection scheme for wild animals.
However my appreciation was soon lost in the amazement as soon as the animals were sighted. My Disney backgrounded fan girl was furiously delighted.  A beautiful pack of deer, grazing peacefully, there was even a fawn trying its own paws for probably the first time. Bambi.  Then elephants at the local bath. Dumbo? Bears - mowgli's bhaloo. Then leopards & panthers- bagheera. The hippos, zebras, snakes - Madagascar.  And so on until we reached the lion kingdom - the fan girl in me squealed with joy at the sight of the pride. So many lions & lioness & cubs. I have a strange fascination for lionesses  - they just kind of symbolize feminity in a very raw form. The sight was breath taking- Lions & lionesses just chilling out in the grass sprawled under the setting sun - cubs chasing each other as if practicing the hunt, it was a scene out of a Disney movie. As we moved away from the lion kingdom towards the end of the park - the driver was put on alert about a lion having escaped the caves. I hoped with some of my fan girl insanity that the runaway lion be somewhere near us so we would get a glimpse - and you know how they say there is a moment every day when whatever you ask for is granted - must have been that moment because no sooner did the thought cross my mind we felt our bus being jumped on. My rebellious lion king had just jumped on top of our bus. I was still trying to get a glimpse in the side mirrors of the bus. And he roared, loud enough to get our hearts racing while the driver told us to stay away from the windows and keep calm. Then he jumped in front of the bus and tried to claw at the well barred windows from the side, my side to be precise.  So close to me I could have fainted with joy, the gorgeous lion with his big eyes and thick mange looking at me, separated just by a window and a few bars, mere centimeters away from me. The driver pulled me back by the hand blabbering something about the smell of human flesh arousing their Hunter instincts and yada yada. I was so mesmerized by ironic situation we were in - the nearness of danger and the safety of my situation that I could barely control the impulse to go near the window again. By then the gun men had entered the territory in a jeep with the tasers. They aimed and fired and he dodged like a ninja. Mufasa.
After a few rounds of his dodging and my hooting at his ninja skills we heard another roar, not ferocious but definitely very fierce and feminine. We looked around to find a lioness by the fence. Beautiful and regal, demanding his attention, her eyes only on him like luring him into hypnosis. And as if by some unseen connection almost as if there was a telepathic link between the two, he stopped. He looked at her, the guards stopped firing to watch this amusing interaction. She raised a paw to the fence and purred almost seductively. The lion king froze in place. And then let out a whimper like he was trying to beg her to allow him the thrill of the fight. She nodded in negative. He whimpered again. She turned away from the fence giving him a longing glance and began to walk away from the fence when he burst into a run and in the blink of an eye was by her side, caressing her face with his licking it every now and then. She placed one paw over his strong torso and licked him back with affection - Affection that made me want to tell the kids to cover their eyes and made me almost look away to give them privacy.  And they walked away into the wilderness in the backdrop of a beautiful sunset to wrap up their day with each other. 
Another observation - women rule, always.

Friday, 28 September 2012

To advertise to not to advertise

One of the many disadvantages of growing up is people just don’t let you be – esp when you are a desi girl. There is an army of relatives and an even worse army of “well-wishers” who keep leaping at your parents every opportunity they get about when & how they are getting their grown up daughter married, what preparations have they done and the likes. Which hypnotizes them into thinking more serenely, and more often about it. Ok. That I can deal with- I think. Somehow getting my parents to wait for the right time is easier said than done. Depending on our varying definitions of the right time.   
A week ago an aunt asked my mom to send a picture of a well dressed me so that she could show it to some boy’s family and see. My mom instantly refused. Thank god for her. She told that aunt that my daughter is not someone you display around until someone likes her. Of course I agree. 

As muslims what would be the point of our hijab if we did actions like this? What would be the point in covering ourselves so people can’t see us in 3D, but is 2D uncovering ok?   We cover ourselves to protect our identity, to please our creator. The hijab empowers us because people do not get the opportunity to judge us by any shallow means, but they are forced to view us as intellectual beings, they are forced to judge us by character and conduct, not by looks and style. The hijab automatically pushes away unwanted responses, dirty sly looks, cheap approaches and I, for one, strictly adhere to it. I don’t care how oppressed people think I am because I know I am not oppressed & to those who think so it really would not matter even if I was, I don’t care how retarded others may think I am because I know I am not, and those random onlookers don’t care enough- so screw what others think.  
Then comes along an uncle telling my dad, make a bio-data of hers, you know stating her age, height, weight, educational qualifications, what household chores she’s good at (well excuse me? buying a vacuum or a dishwasher?) and the likes and we can put it up in some websites and look for her. (Sir could you please mind you own business?)

And my dad tells me to make one. Et tu dad? After all these years of being over protective, now you want to advertise me to look for a guy for me. In my personal opinion, I find it very demeaning to advertise men or women by stating all their pros and putting it up like an advertisement so people can see what suits them and pick and chose. Ok. I’m not saying everyone needs to stop doing it. Many people I know are fine with it –I don’t care. I just don’t want to advertise myself. It seems so shallow.  You cannot judge a person by merely checking out their qualifications, or their hobbies or how good they are at household chores. It takes a character judgment to make the choice – you may be wrong, you may be right- but marriage is that kind of a gamble right?  You can’t just put up a person on sale like that, even if it does not involve the money.

But convincing paranoid parents gets harder by the day.

Thursday, 27 September 2012

Say it small

Words have power. To heal, to comfort, to break, to build, to arouse, to flare, to feel, to change, to kill. And sometimes you needn’t use too many of them, just a few strong ones make an impact powerful enough to stop you in your tracks.  Here’s my list of a few powerful words.

*      Come back home
*      I’m really sorry
*      Waiting for you
*      I love you
*      He/ she said yes
*      Just got married
*      Finally my turn
*      God is great
*      Share with me
*      Love you too
*      I’m proud of you
*      You’re the best
*      Your mine
*      I’m yours
*      One more chance
*       Serve first self last
*      Kiss me again
*      Don’t grow up
*      We belong together
*      I need you
*      Trust me
*      Trust us
*      Its my life
*      Now or never
*      This is right
*      This is wrong
*      Go on
*      Don’t go
*      Believe in yourself
*      Think positive
*      Be positive
*      Be happy
*      Take care
*      Be safe
*      You are not alone
*      I am with you
*      There is a reason
*      Hope is not a plan
*      Live your life
*      Don’t cry
*      This isn’t goodbye
*      I found it
*      I promise you
*      Stop it now
*      Lets start now
*      Let go
*      It OK
*      Thank you
*      The pleasure is mine
*      I am honoured
*      Not a problem
*      I love it
*      This is for you
*      Widen your horizons
*      Life is too small
*      See it my way
*      Try to do it
*      Never say never
*      Keep the faith
*      Tell me
*      I’ll help you
*      Do not read
*      Little things matter
*      Don’t forget
*      God forbid
*      Expect the unexpected
*      Give hope/ faith another chance
*      Shoot your ego
*      First deserve then desire
*      Promise me
*      I am trusting you
*      I don’t know
*      It was nice
*       That’s why
*      Through my eyes
*      Yours truly
*      Yours forever
*      You should try
*      Nothing else matters
*      Don’t be afraid
*      Marry  me
*      I don’t care
*      God knows
*      You make me smile
*      Young at heart
*      Keep smiling
*      Move on
*      Do your best
*      This is me
*      Don’t cross your limits
*      Forget it
*      Nothing like this
*      I know
*      Believe me
*      Come here
*      Hold my hand
*      I thought I mattered enough
*      Hakuna matata.

All these are a compilations of a jumble of  sentences in 4 or less words I have either said to someone and meant it so strongly or have been said and felt it so strongly that I felt it worth penning down. Every single one has a story to it that will always remain vivid in my heart.  Feel free to add your own say-it-smalls and I will add it to my list.