Friday, 28 September 2012
To advertise to not to advertise
One of the many disadvantages of growing up is people just don’t let you be – esp when you are a desi girl. There is an army of relatives and an even worse army of “well-wishers” who keep leaping at your parents every opportunity they get about when & how they are getting their grown up daughter married, what preparations have they done and the likes. Which hypnotizes them into thinking more serenely, and more often about it. Ok. That I can deal with- I think. Somehow getting my parents to wait for the right time is easier said than done. Depending on our varying definitions of the right time.
A week ago an aunt asked my mom to send a picture of a well dressed me so that she could show it to some boy’s family and see. My mom instantly refused. Thank god for her. She told that aunt that my daughter is not someone you display around until someone likes her. Of course I agree.
As muslims what would be the point of our hijab if we did actions like this? What would be the point in covering ourselves so people can’t see us in 3D, but is 2D uncovering ok? We cover ourselves to protect our identity, to please our creator. The hijab empowers us because people do not get the opportunity to judge us by any shallow means, but they are forced to view us as intellectual beings, they are forced to judge us by character and conduct, not by looks and style. The hijab automatically pushes away unwanted responses, dirty sly looks, cheap approaches and I, for one, strictly adhere to it. I don’t care how oppressed people think I am because I know I am not oppressed & to those who think so it really would not matter even if I was, I don’t care how retarded others may think I am because I know I am not, and those random onlookers don’t care enough- so screw what others think.
Then comes along an uncle telling my dad, make a bio-data of hers, you know stating her age, height, weight, educational qualifications, what household chores she’s good at (well excuse me? buying a vacuum or a dishwasher?) and the likes and we can put it up in some websites and look for her. (Sir could you please mind you own business?)
And my dad tells me to make one. Et tu dad? After all these years of being over protective, now you want to advertise me to look for a guy for me. In my personal opinion, I find it very demeaning to advertise men or women by stating all their pros and putting it up like an advertisement so people can see what suits them and pick and chose. Ok. I’m not saying everyone needs to stop doing it. Many people I know are fine with it –I don’t care. I just don’t want to advertise myself. It seems so shallow. You cannot judge a person by merely checking out their qualifications, or their hobbies or how good they are at household chores. It takes a character judgment to make the choice – you may be wrong, you may be right- but marriage is that kind of a gamble right? You can’t just put up a person on sale like that, even if it does not involve the money.
But convincing paranoid parents gets harder by the day.